The Void

Why does a girl get married at age 18?  Leave that husband for another man at age 23(then marry him), then leave that husband for man #3 at age 29 (then marry him) then divorce #3 at age 33?  Let me lay it out for you:

• Her daddy dies unexpected when she is age 15  TOTALLY ROCKS HER WORLD HE WAS HER EVERYTHING
• Along comes a guy older than her when she is 16 who says the right things and feels the VOID
• She starts to grow in her 20's, and she is no longer under the spell of the first man; she is now a woman on the prowl looking for more attention to feel that VOID
• She discovers the World Wide Web in the late 1990's....a whole new world to discover full of men
• She starts an online relationship; later leaves her 1st husband to be with man #2
• Her and man #2 fall into a world of sin; did I mention they got married too; this was all based on fleshly love......to feel the VOID
• After several years of a downward spiral of ungodly living, she feels the need to run away to find another way to feel the VOID
• Along comes man #3; husband #3; he said all the right things, and promised her the world
• 4 years with husband #3 which included severe alcohol abuse,  mental and physical abuse.  She was at the bottom, no where to run, no man to take care of her.  
• 18 years of running, searching and trying to fill the VOID of losing her daddy.
• At age 33 I gave my life to Christ; and I have never looked back.  God is my Father, God is my first priority in my life. 
• It took me almost loosing my life at the hand of a man, to run to my Father.  He called out my name and told me "child leave now or you will not get another chance".  I grabbed my purse, loaded a pair of panties and I LEFT!!!!!!!  

Ladies......if you are struggling with loss, grief, abuse or self destructive behavior there is HOPE, LOVE and FORGIVENESS in the name of JESUS.  There is power in the name of JESUS.

Acts 4:12 - Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

God's Word God's Love

Amazing grace how sweet the sound, that saved  a wretch like me.....Oh how I remember my Grandma and her brother singing that song at the piano when I was a little girl.  My grandma always shared the Bible with me, especially the pretty colorful photos that were in the Bible she had.  How I loved those photos, so real, the stories just came to life in those pictures.  As a child the Bible to me was a story, my grandma share the stories of the Bible, and how Jesus was our salvation, and if I didn't believe in Jesus that I would be lost.  That was quiet a bit for a elementary school aged girl to take in, and as I got older it was even harder.  

The stories of the Bible that my grandma shared always stayed with me through out my life, but I didn't live a life that Jesus would of been proud of that is for sure.  But yet some how, my thoughts always came back to Jesus.  See when I was 12, my step mother had me "baptised", but what it actually was, was me getting my head sprinkled by a priest, and I hadn't a clue of what was taking place.  So I wasn't really "baptised" at age 12, I was sprinkled with water by a man that I had no clue who he was, or why we were doing this.  As I got older I started to resent the church, or what I had been exposed to as the church.  Do this, don't do that, you can't have communion if you aren't "baptised" in our religion.  I got to the point where I doubted God, and doubted everyone actually.  

We will travel 20 years, the loss of  a dad, 3 failed marriages (to be shared later), a sinful/fleshy life style, alcohol and drug abuse, and enough stories to last a lifetime.  Seems like I always had a story for any conversation that came up, and usually they would be inappropriate. Through all of the darkness that I lived for almost 20 years, one thing I carried with me the whole way was Gods word.  MY FIRST BIBLE.  That little Bible traveled in my purse, suitcase and cars since I was 6 years old.  That Bible had more frequent flyer miles then a salesman.  And the place that Bible went, and the things it saw....would make a grown man blush.  But I ALWAYS had God's word with me.  And I knew it was there.  I knew HE was there.  

Now how could God still love me for all of the nasty and sinful things I had done?  Things I knew He had witnessed, things I knew flat out with no doubt I was doing right in front of Him, but I didn't care.  How can He still love me after all of that sin?  Because of His Grace.  The undeserved Grace of God.  Through the blood of Jesus.  John 3:16 tells us that God loved us so much that He gave His only Son Jesus for our sins.  Now that is some love right there.  Would you give your child up as a blood sacrifice to save someone?  Well God did, and for that it shows His love and mercy for us.  

There is nothing that any of us can do to earn the love of God.  But what we can do is trust in The Lord Jesus, call on Him, acknowledge Him as our Lord and Savior.  Repent of our sins, be saved.  I promise you this, there is nothing you can do in your life that will make God stop loving you.  He is always there waiting for you to come home to Him.  Just call His name Jesus.